Anyone interested in seeing what the world looks like through a single lens – i.e., from a non-dual perspective – is also likely inevitably to ask, “How do I get there?”

This is an excellent question. To grow in consciousness and to experience our capacities as spiritual beings in human form–these are basically the tasks we undertake as we live here on Earth. Everything else we do here is secondary. So to ask the question, “How do I get to the point where I see beyond duality, myself?” means that you are in alignment with one of your core reasons for being born on Earth.

You will find your own way. Everyone’s way is different. There are many paths. But I can tell you one very essential thing: the leap in perspective from dual to unified consciousness is always a gift of grace. It comes to you; you can’t choose when it happens to you. Yes, you can take a hallucinogenic drug and have a beautiful experience that feels mystical, and that may be wonderful for you. It can open up new insights. But it’s like seeing the movie of awakening. It is not awakening. At the end of the movie, you still have to get out of your chair, throw away your popcorn and soda containers, and go out into the world as you knew it before you walked into the movie theater. You prepare for true awakening through diligent spiritual preparation which takes hours, months, usually years of concerted inquiry and disciplined practice.

I have a saying, “When brought to our knees, we tend to look up.” It’s true that moments of awakening into unified consciousness can come under duress. The tension of stressful circumstances somehow help us to get out of our own way, help us break through our customary patterns of perception, and see the world newly, differently, truly – without our mental agendas imposed.

But even then, awakening is always a gift. The night before I woke up, my whole world was completely falling apart. I had been a dedicated, but quite unhappy, wife, Mom and housewife. I believed in marriage; I wanted a cohesive family for my daughter who was then only 6. But decades of spiritual inquiry had strengthened me inwardly enough where I was ready, somehow; and suddenly nothing made sense in my life. Nothing made sense except for this hugely powerful love for another man – not my husband – and that love felt like the North Star to me. It seemed to me that NOTHING, nothing in the entire world before, present, or to come was as important as being true to this love. And then of course, everything DID fall apart. My marriage, my home, my extended family (who were all horrified at my behavior.) I felt suddenly completely alone and bereft. I remember going to bed that night absolutely SOBBING and saying to God, “I know that I am following the right path for me. I have never been so certain of it. But I am so unclear. I am so confused. Please, would you just show me the truth. Your Truth. Your highest path for me.” I prayed from the bottom of my heart. It was all I knew to do. That night, each sob was a scream to the heavens: “Show Me.”

I fell asleep, and the following morning, when I awakened, I saw beyond duality. My world really did change from that moment forward. The unified perception was a gift. The answer to my prayer. The inevitable outcome of surrender. It was comfort. It was the experience of the purest, most omnipresent love I’d ever experienced up until that point. So many ineffable things.

Before that day, I had read about the life and experiences of mystics from all the religious traditions. I knew from those readings that every mystic had said the same thing: that the mystical experience of knowing God directly cannot be willed into being: it is a gift from God. My experience showed me the same.

So do not try to will yourself into seeing beyond duality. A willful approach will only set you back. Set yourself upon surrendering, inquiring, and candidly groping your way into it. Be curious and soft. Dedicated and humble. Strong and steadfast in your love of God.

God really does want to bring you home. But God doesn’t want to share you with anything else. All false idols have to be given up… and given the dogged nature of the human personality and the addictive nature of the human realm, well, it just takes awhile.

When in doubt, just ask, “Show me.” I promise, you will be shown faithfully onward to whatever is your next step.