Month: January 2022

Uncomfortable

/ levelprayingfield

Nonduality exists in the space beyond the mind. The mind cannot grasp it.

No doubt you have heard spiritual teachers say this, for it is the one consistent thing that can be said about nonduality. Other than that, nonduality completely defies description.

Lao Tzu calls nonduality “The Tao.” The Bible calls it “The peace which passeth all understanding.” Rumi calls it “The Friend.” Jewish mystics seek to honor the ineffable nature of God by refusing to utter God’s name at all. In writing, they note it as “G-d.”

The love and peace of nondual Being can only be recognized in an “Aha” moment; and it is recognized as something that you have always known, you just didn’t see it for what it is.

The implication of this, of course, is that it’s a real head-scratcher if you try to figure it out mentally. I remember sitting with awakened spiritual teachers in many satsangs over the years and the overriding experience when I would hear them talk was, “Huh???” I could feel their genuineness and their love—I could feel it in my heart. But my head? My head was totally confused. Their words did not make sense.

That tells you something right there.

It was uncomfortable, sitting with that “Huh??” We like to know things. We like to be right. We like certainty.

So be prepared to be uncomfortable as you get nearer and nearer to the breakthrough into nondual consciousness. The rights, the wrongs, and “shoulds” that we rely upon to orient ourselves (and sometimes flagellate ourselves)—they all fall away. They are discovered to be false. For navigating in this earthly plane of existence, a facility with duality is an operational necessity. But in spiritual reality, duality is transcended.

This is why the task of people whose consciousness has become nondual is to “be in the world, but not of it.”

What belief do you hold to be most true? The belief about which you are so certain and clear that the conviction has become part of your identity. Often such a self-identified belief takes the form of something you know that you would never do. “I would never lie.” “I would never have an affair.” “I would never let myself run out of money.” “I would never be a quitter.” “I would never ______” (fill in the blank).

Then what if even that most core conviction got shattered? Then where would you be?

Gift of Grace

/ levelprayingfield

Anyone interested in seeing what the world looks like through a single lens – i.e., from a non-dual perspective – is also likely inevitably to ask, “How do I get there?”

This is an excellent question. To grow in consciousness and to experience our capacities as spiritual beings in human form–these are basically the tasks we undertake as we live here on Earth. Everything else we do here is secondary. So to ask the question, “How do I get to the point where I see beyond duality, myself?” means that you are in alignment with one of your core reasons for being born on Earth.

You will find your own way. Everyone’s way is different. There are many paths. But I can tell you one very essential thing: the leap in perspective from dual to unified consciousness is always a gift of grace. It comes to you; you can’t choose when it happens to you. Yes, you can take a hallucinogenic drug and have a beautiful experience that feels mystical, and that may be wonderful for you. It can open up new insights. But it’s like seeing the movie of awakening. It is not awakening. At the end of the movie, you still have to get out of your chair, throw away your popcorn and soda containers, and go out into the world as you knew it before you walked into the movie theater. You prepare for true awakening through diligent spiritual preparation which takes hours, months, usually years of concerted inquiry and disciplined practice.

I have a saying, “When brought to our knees, we tend to look up.” It’s true that moments of awakening into unified consciousness can come under duress. The tension of stressful circumstances somehow help us to get out of our own way, help us break through our customary patterns of perception, and see the world newly, differently, truly – without our mental agendas imposed.

But even then, awakening is always a gift. The night before I woke up, my whole world was completely falling apart. I had been a dedicated, but quite unhappy, wife, Mom and housewife. I believed in marriage; I wanted a cohesive family for my daughter who was then only 6. But decades of spiritual inquiry had strengthened me inwardly enough where I was ready, somehow; and suddenly nothing made sense in my life. Nothing made sense except for this hugely powerful love for another man – not my husband – and that love felt like the North Star to me. It seemed to me that NOTHING, nothing in the entire world before, present, or to come was as important as being true to this love. And then of course, everything DID fall apart. My marriage, my home, my extended family (who were all horrified at my behavior.) I felt suddenly completely alone and bereft. I remember going to bed that night absolutely SOBBING and saying to God, “I know that I am following the right path for me. I have never been so certain of it. But I am so unclear. I am so confused. Please, would you just show me the truth. Your Truth. Your highest path for me.” I prayed from the bottom of my heart. It was all I knew to do. That night, each sob was a scream to the heavens: “Show Me.”

I fell asleep, and the following morning, when I awakened, I saw beyond duality. My world really did change from that moment forward. The unified perception was a gift. The answer to my prayer. The inevitable outcome of surrender. It was comfort. It was the experience of the purest, most omnipresent love I’d ever experienced up until that point. So many ineffable things.

Before that day, I had read about the life and experiences of mystics from all the religious traditions. I knew from those readings that every mystic had said the same thing: that the mystical experience of knowing God directly cannot be willed into being: it is a gift from God. My experience showed me the same.

So do not try to will yourself into seeing beyond duality. A willful approach will only set you back. Set yourself upon surrendering, inquiring, and candidly groping your way into it. Be curious and soft. Dedicated and humble. Strong and steadfast in your love of God.

God really does want to bring you home. But God doesn’t want to share you with anything else. All false idols have to be given up… and given the dogged nature of the human personality and the addictive nature of the human realm, well, it just takes awhile.

When in doubt, just ask, “Show me.” I promise, you will be shown faithfully onward to whatever is your next step.

Through a Single Lens

/ levelprayingfield / 1 Comment

It is time to start blogging again. Today I walked into church and, after exchanging “Good morning” with the greeter, I was asked if I would be willing to read aloud one of the community prayers from the bulletin during the service. “Sure,” I said. I know this drill. In preparation for the service, the church staff highlight each of the 10 or so community prayers in each of 10 bulletins and give them out, one each to 10 arriving congregants, so at the time of the community prayers, each prayer is uttered by a different person. The prayers are therefore passed through the congregation and, over time, week after week, everyone takes part. I love it.

There was a particular way the greeter looked me in the eye, which told me God was at work. It’s that feeling of “velcro” that, decades ago, my first spiritual teachers taught me about – that sticky hit of direct knowing that tells you: this is not just a passing moment; there is something here for you. Something to guide you, to comfort you, to instruct you. Pay attention.

I sat down and looked at the bulletin. I opened up to the highlighted prayer that I was assigned to read. The prayer said: “You…” (meaning God) “…who framed the first light in creation, dispel the arrogance, animosity, and anger that shatter the unity of your holy Church. Fill your faithful people of all nations with the radiant light of truth.”

I read this knowing that, at home, with the settings purposefully set to hide it from world, lay this website which articulates how all the world religions, each on their own terms, collectively make up a single, unified path of evolving, developing consciousness. It is a Bigger, Unified Picture We All Share, clear as day if we just know how to see it. It was revealed to me in the years 1998-2003 after literally decades of spiritual seeking. And I’ve just been sitting with it, letting it percolate. It hasn’t been time to bring this forward. Often I doubted if I even would bring it forward. “You picked the wrong messenger, God,” I would mumble to myself, either confused or frustrated or dismayed, at various different points. After years of doubt and struggle, I finally just let it all go, where I found a certain kind of awkward peace, followed many years later by a deep, resolved peace. Looking back, it has been a period of deep surrender and non-action. I have been settling into Being. So it has been a bit surprising, after all this time, to feel God not only without and within (as usual), but curiously tapping me on the shoulder again.

I read the prayer phrase in the program book this morning knowing that when there is action to be taken, God always speaks to me in threes. Always I have gotten three signs, all confirming the same message. This is how God started guiding me in my 20s when I was just embarking on a spiritual path. And it’s how God still guides me today–in threes. Just to make sure there is no mistake. In the past several months, since the shoulder tapping recommenced, already I had received two messages to start blogging again. This was the third.

God is very, very clear when God wants you to listen. When it’s time, there is no mistaking. So EVERYTHING in this morning’s service pointed to action, underscoring emphatically, yes, this third prod. The same message was in the first reading (“For Zion’s sake I will not keep silent, and for Jerusalem’s sake I will not rest”), the sermon, the prayers. Even my husband looked over at me and raised his eyebrows.

So here I am. After a 5+ year hiatus, blogging again.

This blog will articulate a view of the world from the perspective of oneness, beyond duality. Where you, God, and everything that happens, are a perfect expression of love. Where everything that transpires–no matter how horrible or magnificent it may appear through the lens of duality–is fully an expression of love, and exactly what we need to grow and further our collective spiritual evolution here on earth. Nothing, ever, is beyond the embrace and expression of God’s love.

This blog is not exclusively Christian. It honors and upholds all the world religions and all the ways of loving God. You will find core teachings of all the major world religions integrated into the website, as I have been a reverent student of the world religions all my life.

You won’t find “rights” and “wrongs” here. You won’t find me trying to convince you of how to live your life. I will show you how you are part of a bigger, more perfect, more amazing and miraculous, unified picture. Because that is what I see, going through my day, through a single lens.