The Audacity of Growth

In my last blog I wrote on the topic of sin. I said, “But I also came to see that there’s a place and a time to worry about sin. The time when sin becomes meaningful is after you’ve  declared the “I Am” at Stage 3.”

I thought I’d spend a little more time explaining what I mean by that.

FatMaleKid_SmallYesterday I read a statistic in one of my favorite publications, The Week magazine. The Week was quoting from The Wall Street Journal when it recently reported :

More than two thirds of American 17- to 24-year-olds would fail to qualify for military service because they are too unhealthy, lack a high school diploma, have a felony conviction, or are taking prescription drugs for conditions like attention deficit/​hyperactivity disorder.

Are you shocked? I was shocked. Two thirds. Doesn’t sound like we could put together much of a defense if we were ever tested militarily, huh?

This statistic suggests that the next generation in America is mostly flabby — of body, mind, spirit and emotion. This is offspring from what has historically been one of the most powerful countries – if not the most powerful country – in the world.

But let’s break this down within what we know about the stages of spiritual evolution, looking at how the stages play out within a developing nation.

America_R2Remember we looked at America’s evolution when we were discussing Collective Experience (see chart).

This statistic about today’s American young adults fits poignantly but logically right in with the trajectory of development after such a meteoric national rise to the top. Think about it.

It takes a certain arrogance and maniacal focus to rise up. It took guts for the colonial fathers of our country to thumb their noses at the British. It took balls to fight and win the Revolutionary war, to dare landing on the beaches of Normandy. It took ingenuity, brilliance and perhaps even some vengeful blood lust to build the atomic bomb that put an end to World War II. Sheer audacity fueled and won the race with the Russians to the moon. All these events were key in the unfolding, expanding consciousness that is the United States of America. To be American is to have a very specific human experience.

The consciousness of America is a consciousness that states, “Anything is possible.” America is built on the notion that if can you dream it, you can do it, for opportunity abounds. In our nation’s history, we have dreamed and then accomplished extraordinary things again and again and again.

But inevitably, that arrogance has a price… as the pursuit of any specific vision has a price.

LaoTzuQuoteLao Tzu said: “When people see things as beautiful, ugliness is created. When people see things as good, evil is created.”

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. It is a law of nature, governing how the world stays in balance when there is any departure in any direction from the core statis of Being.

So… every assertion will have its inevitable recompense.

The reckoning of that recompense is the recognition of one’s sin. Sin is the error that you made to be so daringly arrogant in the first place.

After Stage 3 (that is, during Stages 4 & 5) is always the time when that arrogance of self-appointed initiation becomes evident. In Stage 4 (“Repercussions”), you start seeing the consequences. By Stage 5, the consequences have set in to the point that you start to becoming pummeled by them, setting the stage for Purification.

In that context, the current generation of young Americans makes sense. They are flabby not because they’re any less substantial or worthy as human beings than their forbears. Rather they were simply and somewhat inevitably raised with the assumption of the American Dream. They grew up feeling yawningly entitled to it. Why shouldn’t they? That’s the world they grew up in – the ripe Stage 1 into which they entered. How very unlike the Stage 1 of their forbears who lacked privilege, grew up ravenous for opportunity and driven to make the most of it.

Easy, big consumption grew greedy. Diets grew careless. Monetary greed cut education budgets. Concern for the benefit of all took a back seat to self-interest, which left the poor sometimes to discover ruefully that morals are a luxury of the haves. Regarding medication, Ed Hallowell says it best: we live amidst “culturally generated ADD.” We never stop! Of course we don’t, we’re Americans.

Here’s my point: this is all normal. It’s all just part of the process.

Yes, as Americans we may come upon heavy regrets if our 67% Gen-F (for flab) is ever put to the test and comes up lacking. That would set the stage for a Purification for us, for sure. Should we not have pursued, then, the audacity of the American Dream? Of course we should have! Would you ever tell a two-year-old not to try to walk, or a sunflower not to try to sprout, or kids not to imagine what they want to be when they grow up?

This is simply what we do, here. We go through these stages, and it’s how we grow. There is tremendous audacity in it, as there is recompense and purification. It’s why on a certain level we’re all sinners (as it says in the Bible), and we’re also all forgiven – because as we grow in consciousness we come out of the thrall of our hubris. We let go to God’s will.

This is the way of life on Earth, a transient experiment in the conscious discovery and expression of God. In the end, we come to realize it’s ALL God, and we all come home.

 

 

Sinfidel

Last weekend I had a reminder in real life about the meaning of the word “sin.”

In my 20’s and 30’s, I struggled with the Judeo-Christian emphasis on sin. I was doing my best to be a thoughtful, conscientious person finding my way in my young life. To go to church and be told to confess “how I’ve been bad” felt just plain strange. Or wrong. Offensive, actually. I had a hard time reconciling my deep love of God and all the things I heard at church that rang true with the recurring emphasis on how much of a “sinner” I was (along with all humankind).

Later in life, after I awakened, I understood the emphasis on “sin.” But I also came to see that there’s a place and a time to worry about sin. The time when sin becomes meaningful is after you’ve declared the “I Am” at Stage 3. Prior to that, as you’re struggling to define who you are, the notion of sin is confusing and demoralizing. It’s not a helpful message when you’re trying to gain confidence, not lose it.

Then enter last weekend, with a gentle reminder in the here-and-now about sin and the persistent benevolence beneath its message.

I was attending the wedding of a friend I have known for (gulp) forty years. Over those many years I had become very close not just with her but with her family – who all attended the wedding, too. The reunion brought a sweet and quiet, ecstatic relief like from drinking water after a long, parched fast.

The weekend started for me on Sunday morning where I was to meet Mary Ann, my friend’s mother, at church. When I’d heard she would be attending the service, I sprang at the chance to worship in communion with her and help her get to the next pre-wedding event. To meet at church seemed perfect, as our relationship was rooted strongly in our shared love of God.

Soon enough, Mary Ann bobbed into the narthex. We rushed to throw our arms around each other for the first time in a decade.

“Oh, my stars!” she sang out, “You are the most beautiful creature! You look just like an angel!”

I couldn’t help but laugh. I remembered hearing those exact words, cried out in just same way upon our very first meeting, forty years before. At the time, I’d been a pimply-faced high school junior and this woman had been a complete stranger to me. I had encountered her in the stairwell of my new dormitory. I was going down to get more boxes from the car; she was coming up with a suitcase, and there in the middle on the landing was her daughter, my new roommate, whom I had only just met in our new room. Seeing us converge on the stairs, her daughter had sought to make an introduction: “Mom, this is my roommate,” she said.

“Oh, my STARS!” As Mary Ann responded, her southern accent rang sharply in the stairwell. “You are the most beautiful CHILE! You look just like an AYNgel!”

At fifteen years old, I had never been greeted in such a way – at all, let alone with such passion by a stranger. My stomach dropped as I figured I was in for a very strange year.

So to hear the same words replayed, yes, I did laugh. I said, “Mary Ann, do you know those were the very first words you ever said to me?” I laughed again. A great big belly laugh, “And I thought you were the weirdest woman I’d ever met!” In making the remark, I was laughing at myself.

But something didn’t feel right. Was it the shyness of a reunion after a long time? The discomfort of being flattered? Why had I reacted the way I had? The service would be starting soon. My husband and I guided Mary Ann up front (where she could hear) and into a pew.

As we knelt our heads to pray, I felt “ew” inside. Here I had just seen my beloved Mary Ann for the first time in a decade, and I’d responded to her compliment with a laugh and a quip about how I thought she was so weird when I first met her. Ha ha ha.

The service continued. The hymns, the readings, the sermon, the chance to reflect. I thought about how, yes, surely, Mary Ann was hyperbolic by nature. Yet her ability to see the best of me clearly and reflect it back had profoundly guided my life. At several forks in my spiritual road I’d found my way only because of her support. From Day 1, she had always seen me as an angel. She’d seen my inner worth and held it up to me like a mirror constantly and faithfully enough for me to finally find it directly within myself.

I thought of Saint Augustine, a 4th century Christian mystic. I had just been reading his writings the week before as I was asking for guidance on next steps in my life. Augustine had written, “Give thanks, then, and embrace what has been given you so that you may be worthy to enjoy what you are called to.” Augustine quoted Psalms (115:11), “Every man is a liar,” and Ephesians (4:25) “laying aside the lie, speak the truth,” to make the point that to be anything less than the best we are capable of being – the likeness of God – is a lie. To be the likeness of God is to fulfill God’s intention for us. It is to be what we are (at Stage 6).

BlackSunglassesThus I realized, right there sitting in the pew at the 10:00 service, the purest, simplest definition of sin. Sin is the disregard and discrediting of God’s creation, and of our place in God’s creation. When I laughed at Mary Ann’s remark, I might as well have been spitting on her love of me, and on the qualities she was seeing in me. Qualities that God had created.

It struck me also that this understanding of sin is very much like how the Koran describes an “infidel”: someone who has forgotten the truth of Allah and become ungrateful. In that moment, yes, I had been an infidel. I had forgotten the truth of Mary Ann’s and God’s love for me. I had been ungrateful to that love. A simple, “Thank you” to Mary Ann, an acknowledgment to God who made it all happen, and offering Mary Ann a hug would have been a much more appropriate response.

When it came time to recite the Confession of Sin from the Book of Common Prayer, I spoke it from a very immediate place. I also apologized to Mary Ann after the service concluded. Then it was her turn to laugh. She said my remark hadn’t bothered her, but she was glad if I felt I had learned something. “You know, we learn so much more from our mistakes than our successes,” she chirped.

Then we went on to enjoy the weekend festivities. Fully. Gratefully.

God bless you, Mary Ann. As always, my teacher, holding up the mirror. Let her be a mirror to you, too. What are the places in your life where God, directly and/or through others, is smiling on you? Are you receiving this grace gratefully?

The Antedote to Hopelessness

I heard on NBC News last night that 60 people were shot, 9 dead, over the July 4 weekend in Chicago due to gang violence.

What??

A woman on the NBC video segment had it right, I thought. Speaking as someone from one of the affected neighborhoods, she traced the violence to hopelessness. I wish I could find the video online. I wish I could show you that woman’s sad, astute face.

NBC-News_ChicagoMurders-070714

This news comes to me the day after I have finally finished writing this website (took me a year); the day after I am busy finishing up the last pages, writing about the importance of holding tension during the spiritual process of being human.

The youths in Chicago clearly didn’t hold tension. They clearly let all the intolerable fear, frustration and adrenaline pent up inside rip out their veins into their wrists steeled against quaking rage, aimed down their fingers, blasting into a terrible world that they could validate as being all the more terrible by unleashing corporal damage on another human being. At least in so doing they could prove themselves to be right in their horrible convictions.

Certainty borne out. But at such a price.

Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

Sunflower Gen 2 July 2014 - 1Yesterday upon finishing the website, I looked back over the computer logs and was startled to see that I had started the website exactly a year before. Started on July 6, 2013. Finished on July 6, 2014.

This morning upon finishing the website, I walked out into the garden to see that my Gen 2 sunflowers – offspring of the original sunflower that guided me to start this website to begin with – were, that day, beginning to bloom. Kinda wild, huh?

Lao Tzu talked about Wu Wei: the effortlessness and harmony that come from living in a completely natural, uncontrived way. Without control, force or the attempt to influence.

The news last night was not just about Chicago. The news last night was about our lives – all of our lives – and all of our struggles, in a world that seems to be going increasingly mad.

What will be your center point? The place where you can rest in Wu Wei? What will be the source of your hope, your miracles, your ability to hold your own tension?

I promise you, my friend: it is in you. It is all around you. It is the stuff of Being itself. It is who you are.